WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A VICTIM?

"When I was a young boy, the bully called me names, stole my bicycle, forced me off the playground. He made fun of me in front of other children, forced me to turn over my lunch money each day, threatened to give me a black eye if I told adult authority figures. At different times I was subject to a wide range of degradation and abuse -- de-pantsing, spit in my face, forced to eat the playground dirt....To this day, their handprints, like a slap on the face, remain stark and defined on my soul." - Eric E. Rofes; Making our Schools Safe for Sissies

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Unfortunately in recent years, our attitudes have changed about what it means to be a victim. Many parents and school officials are likely to blame victims of bullying for being weak and not being able to stand up for themselves. This, coupled with the fact that victims are usually warned by bullies not to tell anyone, makes it difficult for them to talk with parents and teachers.

Ten percent of children could be considered extreme victims who have been the victim of bullies at least once a week for a long period of time. These children are often considered younger, weaker, or sicker by their peers. Victims are just as likely to be boys as girls. They often report strong fears or dislike of going to school. These children often report closer feelings to parents and siblings, but whether this causes them to be victims or is simply how they cope with being bullied is unclear. Being labeled a victim is likely to follow children around from year to year. Most extreme victims report having few or no friends and being alone at recess and lunch.

Symptoms that a child might be a victim of bullying:

• acts moody, sullen, or withdraws from family interaction

• becomes depressed

• loses interest in school work, or grades drop

• loses appetite or has difficulty getting to sleep

• waits to use the bathroom at home

• arrives home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises

• asks for extra money for school lunch or supplies, extra allowance

• refuses to go to school (15 percent of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school)

• wants to carry a protection item, such as a knife

Who are the Victims?

Why do some people become victims and others do not? The victim is often singled out because of his/her psychological traits more than his/her physical traits. They are likely to be shy, sensitive, anxious, insecure, have low self-esteem and lack social skills. Physical traits that tend to be picked on are being overweight, physically small, having a disability, or belonging to another races.

*By Nursazella