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Wednesday, 20 October 2010
WHAT PARENTS OF BULLIES CAN DO?
WHAT WITNESSES CAN DO ABOUT BULLYING?
- Unless you feel the bullying situation is very unsafe, speak up to the bully. You could tell them "Cut it out," "That's not nice," "We don't do that in our school," etc.
- If you don't feel comfortable standing up to the bully, direct your energy to the victim to make him or her feel better. (See "E" below)
- When speaking up, never bully the bully back. It will only make the situation worse and the bully may hurt you as well.
- You could also speak up to other bystanders if they are laughing and encouraging the bully. They also have a responsibility in stopping the bullying.
- Report the bullying to an adult, and do so immediately if the situation is very serious. Remember that unreported bullying will keep on happening.
- Trusted adults you could go to include a teacher, supervisory aide, principal, guidance counselor, bus driver, family member, coach, neighbor, etc.
- Ask the victim to go to another lunch table with you, away from the bully, or to move to another part of the playground away from the bully.
- Ask the victim to play with you and your friends.
- Ask the victim to sit with you on the bus.
- Ask the victim if they would like you to go talk to an adult with them in order to report the bullying.
- Show empathy to the victim and tell him you understand how he or she feels.
- Listen to them if they want to talk about what happened or to share their feelings.
- Tell them, "I'm sorry that he/she did that to you."
- If it is true, tell them that bullying has also happened to you
WHAT COMMUNITIES CAN DO ABOUT BULLYING?
- Develop a task-force to organize an anti-bullying program.
- Organize a conference with speakers and programs to deal with bullying.
- Ask local TV, radio and newspapers to help with publicity for your anti-bullying activities.
- Ask local TV stations to show the "Stop Bullying Now!" public service announcements.
- Include local churches in your bully-proofing efforts.
- Organize a "Respect for Everyone" campaign by working with the mayor's office.
- Ask a community theater to present a play about bullying to increase awareness of the problem.
- Hold a billboard design contest. Winning designs of anti-bullying artwork can be made into billboards.
- Display artwork with anti-bullying themes at local bookstores, libraries, and malls.
- Hold a community-based celebration or fair. The fair could include games, activities, contests, distribution of fact sheets, brochures, and newsletters with information about bullying, prizes donated by local businesses, and media coverage of the whole event.
- Create a Youth Advisory Council made up of area youth leaders. Their goal would be to spread the word about bullying and to search for answers to the problem of bullying.
WHAT LAW ENFORCEMENT CAN DO ABOUT BULLYING?
- skipping school (truancy)
- smoking
- drinking alcohol
- physical fights
- having guns or other weapons
- quitting school
- vandalizing property
- being convicted of crimes
- stealing
WHAT SCHOOLS CAN DO ABOUT BULLYING?
- What bullying is?
- Different types of bullying
- How to deal with bullying if they are a victim ("HA-HA-SO")
- How to deal with bullying if they are a witness ("S.A.V.E.")
- Why they must report bullying
- Why they should include kids who are alone and more likely to be bullied
- The difference between tattling and telling
- How the school will attempt to prevent bullying
- How the school will educate students about bullying
- How the school will supervise the areas where bullying occurs most frequently
- How the school will deal with bullying when it happens
- How students and parents will also get involved in order to prevent and deal with bullying
The Victims
- acts moody, sullen, or withdraws from family interaction
- becomes depressed
- loses interest in school work, or grades drop
- loses appetite or has difficulty getting to sleep
- waits to use the bathroom at home
- arrives home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises
- asks for extra money for school lunch or supplies, extra allowance
- refuses to go to school (15 percent of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school)
- wants to carry a protection item, such as a knife
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Causes of Bullying
- Popular children are those that many children say they like, and few children say that they dislike. These children have developed positive social and communication skills.
- Controversial children are both actively liked and disliked by many of their peers. They tend to have good social skills, but also exhibit aggressive behaviour. Class clowns often fit into this category.
- Rejected children are actively disliked by many of their peers and well liked by few of their peers. They show high rates of conflict, aggression, and immature play, and they have trouble taking the perspective of another person. They also have a hard time solving problems without resorting to violence. Rejected children are often prone to delinquency and dropping out of school later.
- Neglected children are seldom neither liked nor disliked by their peers. Although they are very shy, and may have low self-esteem, many neglected children do very well in school and are able to develop friends as they approach adolescence.
Why Do People Bully?
Types of Bullying
- Physical bullying includes any physical contact that would hurt or injure a person like hitting, kicking, punching, etc. Taking something that belongs to someone else and destroying it would also be considered a type of physical bullying. For example, if someone was walking down the street and someone came up to them and shoved them to the ground, that would be physical bullying. In elementary and middle schools, 30.5% of all bullying is physical.
- Verbal bullying is name-calling, making offensive remarks, or joking about a person's religion, gender, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or the way they look. For example, if there was a group of kids who made fun of another kid because he couldn't run as fast as everyone else, it would be an example of verbal bullying. 46.5% of all bullying in schools is the verbal type. Verbal aggression is when a bully teases someone. It can also include a bully making verbal threats of violence or aggression against someone's personal property.
- Indirect bullying includes spreading rumors or stories about someone, telling others about something that was told to you in private, and excluding others from groups. An example would be if you started a rumor that a boy in your class likes playing with dolls, and if the reason that you made up the story was because you thought it was funny. This would be indirect bullying. Indirect bullying accounts for 18.5% of all bullying.
- Social alienation is when a bully excludes someone from a group on purpose. It also includes a bully spreading rumors, and also making fun of someone by pointing out their differences.
- Intimidation is when a bully threatens someone else and frightens that person enough to make him or her do what the bully wants.
- Cyber-bullying is done by sending messages, pictures, or information using electronic media, computers (email & instant messages), or cell phones (text messaging & voicemail). For instance, if you sent a picture of a snake in an email to a person because you know that they are afraid of snakes, that would be an example of cyberbullying. According to a survey done in 2003 only 4% of bullying is listed as "other types" and this would include cyber-bullying. Even though this number seems small, the growth of this type of bullying is going up fast because of the spread of technology around the world.
VICTIM CONFESSION BULLY
Stop Bullying!
Solution
- Get an accurate assessment of the problem. An anonymous survey is a very effective way to learn about the true nature of a problem at a particular school.
- Maintain higher visibility. Most schools report that most of their bullying problems disappear when playgrounds, bathrooms, etc., are properly monitored. Supervising recess is especially important.
- Have students develop class rules about bullying that are then consistently reinforced. It is important to start this in very early grades to gain a handle on this problem before it gets out of control.
- Conduct in-service training for both teachers and parents. Stress that bullying is not just boys being boys or high spirited behaviour but potentially damaging for both victims and bullies. Bullying is not something that people grow out of, but one of the first signs of more serious problems. It is also important to remember that verbal harassment can be just as scary and intimidating as physical attacks.
- Have serious talks with bullies, and make them realize that you are aware of their behavior and are not going to tolerate it. It is also important to develop ways to help them learn more positive social skills.
- Create a safe environment for your children to tell you about being bullied. Many times kids are embarrassed to tell their parents what happened, thinking that their parents will blame them. Sometimes kids at school pick on other kids or say mean things to them. Does this ever happen to you at school?
- Reinforce the idea that if they are being bullied, it is not their fault. Don't make your child feel like a wimp. The person that is picking on you is the one with a problem, not you. Bullies pick on people for no real reason, but it is just because they have problems of their own, not because of anything you have done.
- Don’t teach your kids to hit or fight back; it will only make things worse.
7 Steps To Reduce Bullying At Campus
- Discuss monitoring at a staff meeting - The first step to increasing campus vigilance is to have a staff meeting. All staff members should be in attendance. During this meeting, steps 2-7 should be discussed. The administrator in charge should make it clear that all staff members must do their part if bullying incidents are going to be reduced.
- Monitor the halls between classes - This should be a no brainer, but many teachers decide to stay in their classrooms in between classes. This time is a prime opportunity for bullies to thrive and victims to suffer. However, if all teachers are monitoring the hallways, it will be difficult for bullies to harass their targets.
- Identify the campus bully zones - Every campus has areas that are easily accessible to students but rarely monitored by adults. How can one identify these areas? Ask the students. Most students would gladly share this information. Another way is to walk around the campus. If there are areas that look like they might be a breeding ground for bullying to take place, these areas must be documented and brought to the attention of the staff.
- Monitor the bully zones - The bully zones must be monitored. This means staff members must do a little extra work. Staff members should be given a schedule of their monitoring duties. This schedule should include all staff members and their responsibilities should be equally distributed. This is a key component to assuring staff morale stays high and bullying incidents stay low.
- Monitor during recess - Some teachers use recess to catch up on grading papers or to visit with their co-workers. During recess, teachers should be interacting with the students. By properly monitoring recess time, the number of bullying incidents can be significantly reduced.
- Require adequate supervision during lunch - Cafeteria monitors must be mobile. In the cafeteria, it is easy for bullies to verbally abuse their victims. However, with adults actively monitoring all of the students, it will be more difficult for verbal abuse to take place.
- Monitor PE classes and locker rooms - PE teachers and coaches must take an active role in making sure these areas are monitored. Many coaches feel that teammates won't bully each other. Nothing can be further from the truth. Bullying in athletics is a prevalent problem that will not be eliminated if left unattended. Proper monitoring of campuses is one of the best ways to reduce bullying incidents. Bullies will be reluctant to abuse their victims in the presence of adults.
Consequences Effect Of Bullying
- Short term effects - Being a victim is very stressful for children. Many children develop a strong dislike of going to school, especially times like recess or gym class. Many victims begin to distrust all their peers at school and have problems making friends. Extreme victims can develop depression or physical illness.
- Long term effects - The long term consequences of being a victim vary a good deal. Most victims of bullying do well in school and are able to make friends are they grow older. Most victims, especially if they receive support from adults important in their lives, survive the experience of being bullied without long term effects.
- Short term effects - Even though bullies are sometimes viewed positively by their peers, they rarely are capable of maintaining close friendships. They are usually not doing well in school and not well liked by their teachers.
- Long term effects - Bullying is a behaviour that is very often one of the first steps to more serious problems. Unless some kind of intervention takes place, the aggression of bullying often leads to more serious acts of delinquency and criminal activity. Bullies are also more likely to use drugs and alcohol as adolescents.
Effects Of Bullying
- It happens a lot more than some people think. Studies show that between 15-25% of U.S. students are bullied with some frequency, while 15-20% report they bully others with some frequency (Melton et al, 1988; Nansel et al, 2001).
- It can mess up a kid's future. Young people who bully are more likely than those who don't bully to skip school and drop out of school. They are also more likely to smoke, drink alcohol and get into fights (Nansel et al, 2003; Olweus, 1993).
- It scares some people so much that they skip school. As many as 160,000 students may stay home on any given day because they're afraid of being bullied (Pollack, 1998).
- It can lead to huge problems later in life. Children who bully are more likely to get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school. And 60% of boys who were bullies in middle school had at least one criminal conviction by the age of 24 (Olweus, 1993).
Psychological Profiles of Bullies and Victims
- They watch more violent TV at home.
- They misbehave at home more frequently.
- They spend less time with adults at home.
- At home, when they are disciplined, they face more forceful parental discipline.
- Bullies have fewer positive adult role models. Perhaps, they don't get adequate opportunity for watching a lot of adults in their environments trying to win friends and influence people through communication, persuasion, or negotiation. Consequently, they don't get adequate opportunity to role model for ideal social skills.
- Likewise, bullies have fewer positive peer influences. Perhaps, the peers with whom bullies identify are also trying to dominate others by fear and coercion.
- Bullies also get into more fights.
- Thirty-six percent of them came from single-parent homes.
- Another thirty-two percent had step-parents.
- They had easier access to guns.
- They had more exposure to gang activities.
The Bullies
- They deal with their own fears and troubles by showing off and acting tough
- They sometimes have problems in their school or family life and take it out on others
- They pick fights first so no-one can pick a fight with them
- They don't know it's wrong
- There are copying a brother, sister or a family member they admire
- They don't know any other way to mix with school friends
- Their friends encourage them to bully
How to solve the problem?
What the effect of the bullying?
Sadly, some students are so traumatized by being bullied that they become very depressed. Miserable and unable to communicate their dilemma to anyone, they feel their situation is hopeless and sometimes commit suicide.
The film Rats & Bullies tells the story of Dawn-Marie, a 14-year old girl who took her own life after being relentlessly bullied by three teenage girls who were her classmates. View a trailer of the movie. Dawn-Marie left a suicide note in which she named the three girls. Later, they were held accountable for the bullying.
Bullying is always has a negative impact. It can be long term or short term and the impact can be physical, mental or emotional, your awareness of the impact of bullying will help you to understand it, address the behaviors and support the person being bullied.
Bullying can have serious effects on children who are bullied. These children are more likely than their peers to be depressed, lonely, and anxious, have low self-esteem, feel unwell have more migraine headaches; and think about suicide (see Limber, 2002, for summary).
Signs that a someone is being bullied
• Changes in behaviour such as becoming withdrawn or ill-tempered
• Scratches and bruises that are hard to explain
• Changes to social life - not seeing friends or staying away from clubs
Besides that, bullies can give effect include immediate feelings of anger, hurt and fear leading to longer term problems such as eating disorders, depression and low self-esteem. Because so many student with learning disabilities are bullied, it is common for them to feel ‘anticipation’ a sense of fear and anxiety about being bullied. Some children and young people feel apprehensive about new people and situations because they are of being bullied. This can make them feel helpless and erodes their confidence. 40% of children with learning disabilities say they stay away from the places where they have been bullied. Bullying is not inevitable and there should not be "no-go areas" for children with learning disabilities.This makes it even more important for young people to feel that adults will respond to bullying when it happens.
It can be devastating to learn that a young person who you are close to is being bullied. However, well-intentioned over-protective behaviour can often make things worse. Some young people lose their freedom, or are not allowed to take risks. Adults need to take steps to deal with the bullying, not keep young people away from situations where bullying could happen. This is especially true for children with learning disabilities, who often have less access to a social life than their peers.
How Does Bullying Make People Feel?
One of the most painful aspects of bullying is that it is relentless. Most people can take one episode of teasing or name calling or being shunned at the mall. However, when it goes on and on, bullying can put a person in a state of constant fear.
Guys and girls who are bullied may find their schoolwork and health suffering. Amber began having stomach pains and diarrhea and was diagnosed with a digestive condition called irritable bowel syndrome as a result of the stress that came from being bullied throughout ninth grade. Mafooz spent his afternoons hungry and unable to concentrate in class because he was too afraid to go to the school cafeteria at lunchtime. Studies show that people who are abused by their peers are at risk for mental health problems, such as low self-esteem, stress, depression, or anxiety. They may also think about suicide more.
Bullies are at risk for problems, too. Bullying is violence, and it often leads to more violent behavior as the bully grows up. It's estimated that 1 out of 4 elementary-school bullies will have a criminal record by the time they are 30. Some teen bullies end up being rejected by their peers and lose friendships as they grow older. Bullies may also fail in school and not have the career or relationship success that other people enjoy.
By: Hartini